Uncertainty, unsettling feelings.

Well it's officially happening I am off to school at the end of July. I am freaking out. Not that there is any real reason to be freaking out. The course is short and probably not that much of a challenge. I am mostly freaked out at the idea of leaving Dan alone with the kids four nights a week. They can be a handful. Also, I am a control freak who just knows that the way he will do things is not the way I would do them. My fear is I will come home to two dirty, injured kids who haven't been fed and the house will look as if a tornado came ripping through with a vengeance. Who knows, maybe there is hope that he will not only do well but also exceed my expectations. As for now I must remain hopeful or I will chicken out as usual. I have a pretty sever anxiety disorder and I am sure that first week at school I will be breathing through a bag more than once. Yet another change is driving. I have an eminence fear of driving. I fear I will crash and die and leave my two beautiful girls with out a mother. That would be a horrible thing to happen and I would have to haunt them for the rest of there days. So now with school starting there is no way out I have to drive. I have to get used to being behind a wheel and driving. 16 year olds do it why can't I. I am not stupid I get the idea of driving I get how to use a car but my entire body shakes when I am behind the wheel. Not only is all that going on but in September I am moving into my fiancee's mothers house that she no longer uses in hopes of saving money to get a down payment established so we can buy our own home. There's two problems... It's awkward and there is no air conditioning. The first being but harder than the second to deal with. Fuck.... Me...... the next few months will suck!!!

Men.....

So I have recently decided that men are like small toddlers. I think that we ladies have already figured that out. Even more than just small toddlers because they are immature but because they also require the constant attention that a toddler needs. They whine when they don't get there way. They cry when there favorite team looses. They want you to kiss their boo boo's and tell them everything will be alright. They need you to carry them when they are down. They have the attention span of a gold fish and they are certainly attached to their mommies like a toddler. Plus they want you to act like you are their mother. It is really quite astonishing to me that men consider them selves as a stronger sex than women. I have never witnessed a completely strong independent male in my whole life. This is sad. Women lets revolt, take over the men and keep them in small cages like we keep our live stock. They will only be let out to be used as stud's. The world will be so much better. Take for instance sleeping if you keep them in cages then you won't have to deal with sleeping next to a snoring, farting, take up the whole bed and steal all the blanket men. Wouldn't that be nice. You would not have to deal with waking up next to a moist smelly man. Who wants to see that first thing in the morning.... I know I don't. Any way That's That.

The beginning

The beginning of me, well for all you maybe readers of this I guess I should start by introducing myself. I am a 24 year old woman smack dab in the middle of the worst possible state: Ohio. Need I say more. I am here to ramble about all the things that are floating around my very odd little brain. I hope that you don't mind the random and sometimes hard to follow rants that I am sure will be in my blog. I am a very opinionated little person who can at times lash out in maybe what is considered harsh spurts of anger and complete detestably of others in this world. Basically I am not that much of a people person. Although I enjoy being social at times. So I guess in the grand scheme of things this blog is really just a place for me to vent. Enjoy!